Boy May Grow Up Yet

I've been gone. I apologize. I spent a very relaxing and comfortable (and bikeless) five days on a lake near Racine, Wisconsin. My son and I took the train to Milwaukee and then went from there. He learned to fish, saw his first firefly, learned how to canoe, experienced a paddleboat, and had the courage to grab on and fling himself off on a rope swing.

So, I get back to the real grind of all the stuff this boy has to deal with: career, a roommate for my house (check out www.haguehouse.blogspot.com for details), closing my organization's office, and dealing with my ever-present singlehood. So I decided to grow up and . . . go on a lunch date. It's today, and if it goes well you will likely hear nothing about it. Or maybe if it goes badly you'll hear nothing about it. We'll see. After the date, I'll decide any career issues by 4:00, select a roommate by 8:00, and get my organization's office closed and moved out by noon tomorrow. That's how you do things as a lawyer.

More bike things in a bit. Thanks, UJ, for kicking my butt and telling me to get back to blogging.

Boy Reveals Bike

Geez, it's hard to believe I never posted a picture of my bike. Here it is, in all its glory but without the glory of a decent photographer (notice the withering vines on my backyard fence). The second picture is the bike's rear end and gear mechanism. For you geek heads out there, it's the Shimano Nexus Inter-7 internally geared rear hub, which means basically that everything is inside that little silver hub there, you betcha. I think it's pretty cool, though being limited to seven gears has its downside, especially downhill. Even in top gear going downhill, I pedal like the Wicked Witch of the West completely hopped up on meth.


The Bike


Look, Ma! No Derailleur!

Dorks and Winners All Around

I was biking to my son's T-Ball game this past week. I'm actually one of the coaches of the team, called the Nighthawks, and I wear a bright baby blue shirt with COACH spelled out in huge letters on the back. I'm sure it looks stylish from behind as I ride the bike. Anyway, out of the blue I spotted another BikeTown bike winner about to enter the Midtown Greenway. The bikes that we all won are unique--with Penn Cycle emblazoned on the chain guard--so I knew he was one of us. Like a dork, I pedalled as fast as I could toward the poor guy and yelled "Hey!" He didn't apparently hear me--or thought I was some sort of thug who wears a safety helmet--so I kept pedalling toward him and again yelled "Hey!" I got his attention and then blurted out "Whoa, did you win that bike?" The guy--a small and now confused man who I am not convinced spoke English--answered "Uhh, yeah." Well, what could I say then? I just stood up on my pedals to turn around, licked my lips, stuck out my chest and said, like a little kid "That's so cool. I won mine too." I'd like to say we then had an instant and permanent loving bond, but when I looked back he was coasting down the hill to hurry on the Greenway.

Which reminds me that I should post a picture of the bike in the next blog (and also tell you about the discovery that UJ has made concerning an impostor biketown!).

Ask the Amateur: 3

Hi, Amateur:

If you get struck by lightning on your bike, will the bike tires ground you? Can you survive?

Ugly Juice

Dear Juice:

Whoa, I had the same question! Being a complete amateur and a part-time moron, I thought that--as long as you held on to your rubber handlebars or did not touch metal--you were good to go. Wrong. According to the National Weather Service, you are literally toast if your bike gets struck by lightning, because it is thought of as a natural conductor.

Don't fret. Although you'll likely get struck by lightning before you win Powerball, you still have only a 1 in 600,000 chance of frying. If you are caught out in the open and on a bicycle, the best thing to do is get under a bridge or, get this, under high voltage power lines (but away from the metal tower). If you are out in the open with no bridge or high voltage power lines to protect you, then you should be desperate. As in, get off your bike, lay it down, and get into the "Lightning Desperation Position" (not to be confused with the Duck and Cover maneuver in the case of a nuclear bomb).

To illustrate, the National Weather Service provides a nice picture, and I've courteously swiped it and placed it here. Next time you are in a lightning storm but safely in your car, look carefully over at the side of the road and chances are you'll see a few dozen folks in this position.


Lightning Desperation Position